Joe vs. The Old Farts

So I found myself at the Albany Senior Center the other day for their annual "yard sale". It's funny 'cause there really isn't any yard at the senior center, just a few rooms inside of an old dilapidated building that was probably built at the turn of the century. The senior center is such a weird little place. The only other time that I had been there was to vote -- they are the local polling place in our community. I had voted in the past two elections at the senior center, and each time I went there were several seniors sitting around and assisting the voters, i.e., checking off names, handing people ballots, looking confused, making people confused, and scowling every time a younger person came in to vote. If all goes well, they hand you a little "I voted" sticker and then send you on your merry way.
So other than voting at this place and walking by it occasionally while noticing the now defunct shuffleboard area across the street, I really had no reason to go there, and frankly, the place radiates a kind of putrid decay, like something desperately trying to hold onto newer, faster times, even though that thing is old and antiquated itself, it still clings. It's kind of sad, really, because I can see it in the faces of the senior citizens when I have voted there before -- they look sorta desperate, like they are still "with it" but you know once they step out of those doors they seemingly fade right into the landscape. They are artifacts -- no longer needed and no longer viable in these modern times.
But I did manage to go to the senior sale, mainly out of curiosity, and also because Sarak once told me that senior sales and church estate type sales are some of the best places to find sweet deals on vintage clothing, records, and other little knick-knacks. I walked into the place and immediately noticed a big box full of bags and backpacks. I sifted through the pile and came across a nice messenger type bag. It was only $2 so I decided to buy it. I started walking into a different area with the bag when all of a sudden a little squeaky voice called out, "Sir, you can pay for that in here!" I looked around, kinda surprised, and then noticed a little hunched over lady speaking to me from a folding chair. I kind of laughed and said, "Well, I'm still looking around, but I do want to buy this before I leave". My first thought was that the lady thought I was going to steal the bag. I was certainly not going to steal it! I just wanted to hold onto it before somebody else grabbed it up. Some other people looking around glanced over when the old lady yelled at me, there was a mutual "I know that these old people can be a bit confused" look on their faces and mine. I was told by the hunched over lady that they didn't want different merchandise traveling into the other rooms, you had to pay for your stuff in each little section. So I sat my bag by the table and said I'd buy it before I left. The old lady frowned and said, "Alright then".
I proceeded to go into another room where there were bookshelves full of all sorts of interesting books. I began perusing them and eventually came upon a rather lare, hard-bound "Motorcycles of Britain" book. It looked really nice, and was in good condition. I instantly started to think how much bread I could get for it on eBay. I bet I could get at least $40!! I don't care about motorcycles, I just thought the book looked nice with full color photographs and what not. Some enthusiast out there would have easily paid good money for it. But again, seemingly out of nowhere, another barely audible, little, squeaky voice called to me "Sir, that isn't for sale!" I turned to find yet another hunched over senior sitting in a folding chair scowling at me. I thought to myself, "What the fuck is going on here?" The senior explained that the particular books that I was looking at belonged to the center. I was a bit confused, because these books were right out with all of the other stuff for sale. I could only think that maybe they could have put the stuff away that was not for sale, not left it out there for people to look at. I mumbled to the little lady, "Ok, no problem" and I put the book back on the shelf. Maybe coming into this place was a mistake.
I made my way into a large back room of the center and there were several folding tables with all kinds of junk displayed upon them. I was a bit perturbed because I noticed that a lot of the useless crap was way overpriced. I mumbled a little, "Tssk" and wandered around. I came upon a table that had a bunch of CD's stacked in several piles. As soon as I began sifting through one of the piles a middle-aged woman cut in front of me and rapidly started shuffling through another stack of CD's. She annoyed me from the start. I glanced over and saw that she had grabbed up the Nirvana box set CD, some Hole CD, and a Smashing Pumpkins CD -- all easy money on ol' eBay (don't get me wrong I like Nirvana and the Smashing Pumpkins, but I already have those CD's, and I know that I could get GOOD bread for them on eBay). But this fucking lady snatched them up. I thought, "What the fuck is she gonna do with a Nirvana CD??!!" I was a bit pissed, mainly just because I should have got those CD's, then I realized I was being a bit rash, and my many years experience with thrift store hunting and bargain shopping was getting in the way of my clear judgment. I just see deals and I HAVE TO HAVE them. Especially nowadays with the eBay factor, it is a very dangerous combination -- I'm constantly on the lookout for stuff that I can buy cheaply and then sell for triple the amount online. I have a problem, I think.
So I let that 50 year-old keep the Nirvana CD, big deal! As I was exiting the back room of the center, I happened to glance over at a big chalkboard on the wall. It read, "bake sale" and then had a listing of tasty treats and their prices. I noticed that they had egg salad sandwiches for sale, I love egg salad sandwiches! I almost contemplated buying one until I noticed the price, $4.80. Four dollars and eighty cents for some crappy, home made egg salad sandwich! What??
Who were these old farts trying to fool? I mean, that sandwich should be like $2. I then noticed that much of their food was way overpriced, and it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon as it sat there in the mid-afternoon, untouched, as small clusters of flies began swarming around it. Man, they could sell this shit much faster if they at least slashed the prices. What a waste. Old people are stubborn too, so I just assumed they would throw it all away if it didn't sell. I was kind of pissed at the way this whole place was ran, so to fuck with the seniors a little bit, as I was walking out of the room, I blurted out (quite audibly), "FOUR EIGHTY FOR AN EGG SALAD SANDWICH!?" Some old lady looked at me and said in a sassy sort of way, "Ahhh, but it's good stuff!" I responded with, "I hope so for that amount".
I had just about enough of these crazy old farts, I figured they had won this time, after all, I was on their turf. So as I made my way out I heard the same crackly, little voice from when I first entered the center call to me, "SIR, your bag, are you still going to buy it!?" With my head down, I whispered "yes" and walked over to the table and placed into the senior's weathered and arthritic hand my two dollars. Feeling defeated, I took my new/old bag and made my way out into the bright, bright, BRIGHT afternoon. It was going to be a long day...er...a long life.