I'm out of touch, I'm out of time

No cell phone. No Blackberry. No laptop. No instant messaging. No I Pod. No TV (cable, that is). No wireless remote. No pager. No magazine subscriptions. No hair. Have weak computer. Have basic email. Two out of the above group? I guess you could say that I'm very much out of touch with the rest of the world. Especially not having a cell phone, jeeez, that makes me almost extinct.

It occurred to me the other day, while traveling for a work-related project, that me and a few others I know are pretty much obsolete in the eyes of many. People are always talking about what they watched on TV -- the Simpsons, American Idol, The OC, etc, etc...People are always talking on their fucking cell phones, and when they're not on them, they are still checking those little fuckers anyway. Always with their heads down, gazing like zombies into the little plastic devices, lost in there as if it were another world, or some 5th dimension that they're constantly trying to figure out. What the fuck goes on in those things? It's just a phone, right? What could it possibly contain that is so goddamn important? Oh, it pisses me off to no end. Yeah, and you are reading this right now thinking, "What a sap, he'll come around one of these days" Hey, fuck you people who think that owning a little plastic piece of shit strapped to yr belt makes you better than me. I just spoke to someone here in the office today who didn't know what a doppelganger was. How fucking pathetic. Maybe if she took her cell phone out of her ass, she might learn a few new words. You see, this world is going straight to shit.

I heard W being interviewed this morning (again) and speaking like a fuckin' dumb cowboy, per usual. I bet he has like five cell phones, in which he speaks his twangy, broken verbiage to five people at the same time. People love him because he is so stupid -- it makes them feel better, and they say "Oh George, he's just like me, he doesn't know what a doppleganger is either!"
So, where does that leave me? Uhmm, I'm still bald and George Bush still has his hair. That fucking cock-knocker, I bet he says things to his frat buddies like "Man, I need to get some stank on my hang-down!" Why does he get to keep his hair why I go bald and start to resemble Rocky from the film Mask?

It's just not fair. Why am I the only one out of all my friends (save for one) who does not own a cell phone? Why do I have to go bald. I look better with hair, I don't make a pleasant looking bald guy. Fucking sucks. Yeah, I'm out of touch, and out of time.