Everybody's In It For Themselves

"I'll try to make it if I can. We have plans that night, but maybe we can stop by later for a sec. We bought tickets for this show, and we are not going to be able to make it. I just bought this great new cell phone - it straps right to yr fuckin' head and stays there all day long! We're going out of town, so maybe we'll see you in a few weeks, maybe." Blah, blah, blah, etc, etc...
It occurred to me last night, before sleep (of course), that just about everyone I have ever met is in it for themselves. What exactly is "it"? "It" is life, of course. Life is the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years that comprise every human's existence on this failing planet. Before I go any further, 'cause people have a tendency to judge INSTANTLY, I have to say that I am probably the most guilty human of this action. I admit it, because I am no different than anyone else out there who is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Man, why does this happen? Why are we this way?? Human nature, competition, jealousy, greed, anger, rage...to have this, to have that, to have been here or there - to create some kind of jealousy or longing in the eyes of the people you tell, or who see you. This is a terrible trait, but also a survival tactic, a human defense mechanism. I don't necessarily like it, but it seems it has to be there. The ego is a fragile and fucking mysterious thing. We all want some little bit of recognition for what we do, some kind of permanent marking of where we've been and what we have.
Some people try to better themselves by not holding true to this "ethic", I guess. And those people, in a sense, are feeding their own egos by telling themselves that they are maybe better than most people because they are acting just the opposite. There is really no escape, just accept the fucking fact that you have to survive and this is a part of it. We can do what we do, all the time, and tell people about it, flaunt it, show it off, and so forth. But there are ways to control it, ways to be quiet and unassuming, to not let "it" get in the way of everything. And this is a good trait, to be able to have control over something. I don't give a flying fuck if you make $200,000 dollars a year, if you're cool and down-to-earth, you'll be alright with me.
We've all got a little bit of work to do. Now get back to fucking work.