Bob

Man, there is this attorney here at work named Bob Brown. He likes to refer to himself in the third person, e.g. "Bob has won a few cases in his time and Bob likes to win" or "Bob feels pretty good about today's trial" It is truly bizarre. Bob's an older man, probably in his late '60s. I would assume he is around the same age as my father. Bob swears a lot too. It kind of scares me because he seems like a fairly easy going man most of the time, but he'll suddenly blurt out something like, "You've gotta be fucked in the head if you want to serve on a jury for 6 weeks" I think of how my dad never swears and it makes him seem so much more above someone like Bob Brown. Don't get me wrong, Bob seems like an alright guy, a little loopy, but he also seems like he may have been a pompous prick (early term for douchebag) back when he was younger, and in his early law school days. I have zero tolerance and respect for douchebags, and alpha males. I would love to collectivey kick the assses of all the douchebags in the world, just to show them that they can be beaten by a freckled, glasses wearing, balding, OCD ridden, quiet man. Give me a ring (if you you're a douche) and we'll set something up.
Anyway, I bet Bob had a nickname like 'Bubba' when he was younger. I think he used to play football. Normally I would try not to have anything to do with somebody like Bob, but I kind of enjoy being entertained by Bob's naive ways. He's like an ancient and endangered creature, the last of his kind, and we are here to study it and try and glean some knowledge as to its origins, manners, ways of living, etc...
But, really, people like Bob are everywhere, they are just younger and worse. Just head on down to the trendy Berkeley bars on any given Saturday evening. There you'll find a collection of the worst frat boys and young B. Brown's in training. In 30 years they'll be the ones replacing the Bob's of today, they'll be the new Bush's, they'll be the ones making all the wrong decisions only to feed their massive egos. A very scary time it'll be. Better make alternate plans, or as Adam Frankin of the great Swervedriver once said, "Go take a stroll amongst the mines call yourself back in when it's time score your provisions score a smile hit the road for a million miles pack your vision and set your dials."