Long Since Before Yesterday

So, I've not posted a damn thing here in a few weeks. Sara, the only one who reads this, will be surprised that something has been written on this now stagnant and neglected blog o' mine. I've got some new photos of art pieces coming soon, and maybe a few words to accompany them. Oh Joy! Ahhh, fuck it. Yeah. Still balding and still slightly misanthropic.
I guess the biggest news lately is that I almost quit that band that I'm in after a disastrous show in SF. I take things way too seriously most of the time, can't just let it slide off like most people. The OCD kicks in and there is no stopping it. So I didn't really quit, but my friends in the band (aside from Schuyler) will probably want to kick me out. I would if I was them. It seems every year or so one bad show really throws me off and I'm stuck thinking, "why do we do this??" We practice tonight and I'm going to feel embarrassed to have to face everyone again. Maybe I'm too old for this shit? Who wants to see some balding, freckle-faced half asset drummer pummeling away on stage anyway? I sure wouldn't. But again, the question remains, "why do we (I) do this?" I love my friends and playing music, but not sure if I should be playing live shows in front of a paying audience. I practice all the time too, maybe it makes no difference. I made a strange analogy the other day; it seems that I've gotten away with playing drums in an active band the same way a slacker student in high school gets away with reading Cliff's Notes instead of the actual book for a report. I thought that was kind of funny. So I'll meet the guys tonight and we'll talk, and maybe even play some music. But very soon we'll have to play live again. I only hope I can redeem myself the next time 'round.