Short takes on a strange place - Part 2

Looking East out of our 3rd story apartment here in Astoria, one's eyes are almost instantly drawn to this place across the street, "Cafe Bar". Wow, what an ingenious name for a drinking establishment. You would think the proprietors of this place would have put a bit more thought into the name of their bar. But I bet they are big, fat, lazy shitheads whose only objective was to get a bar built quickly and try and make some money. We never go there. We just leave the tables available for the hordes of Euro Trash that seem to be the bar's only occupants. Any given Friday or Saturday night yields an insipid, smoking, lame-ass fashion jeans wearing crowd. Let them have their pretentious, boring, expensive drinks bar.

There is a bizarre opportunistic mindset here in Astoria, not just with bars, but with any available commercial/retail space. It seems dozens of them crop up every week. Where there once was a vacant, decaying storefront, now there is a brand new cell phone shop. Where there was once an old deserted bakery, now there is a brand new Greek night club. These places are so funny to me. Especially these so called "night clubs". They are all mostly Greek dominated, and are always packed, even into the wee hours of a Tuesday night. My roomates and I call them "Astoria Fancy". These places, like Cafe Bar, are generally filled with snarling, smoking people of unknown European race. These people do not seem especially friendly, they just shout at each other in the context of a seemingly normal conversation. I suppose that's just how they communicate. Seems/sounds frustrating to me.

Some people reading this might be thinking that I am a racist. I am no racist, just a little xenophobic and agoraphobic (I typically do not like being in the midst of too many people--they make me nervous and I get panicky. I can admit to that.) I hate racists and bigots. I'm just offering some social commentary about the area in which I live. I'm positive that if I lived in, say, Nashville, TN, then I would be writing right now and complaining about the overly large number of hick bars, real bigots, and Western music. It goes without saying that I'd probably be equally as miserable living in any heavily populated area of the world. Doesn't matter who lives there, it's just the fact that there might be too many of them crammed into one small space. I guess I just don't like people in general. It's a double edged sword, really. I can say that I don't enjoy being around too many people, but if they were suddenly gone, vanished like in a Twilight Zone episode, well then I would probably feel extremely lonely and even more depressed.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling positive and things are actually going my way, I might look around and feel very guilty for the way I normally view life. For instance, I might see an older woman, stooped over and walking down the street toting a big, cumbersome bag, or wheeling a heavy cart of some sort. I'll look at her and wonder what she's gone through, what she's seen in her own life. She seems to have led a life full of heavy burdens, and is now just trying to get by in this extremely fast paced and competitive world. There she is, just minding her own business, weaving around the traffic and loud cell phone talkers on the street. She has no idea what this world has become. It is enough to make me cry, and realize just how easy I have it.

J. Mascis (an extremely cynical man) of the great Dinosaur Jr. once sang, "I feel the pain of everyone, then I feel nothing." This couldn't be more true in my current situation and in my overall worldview.