Adventures in the 5th Wheel

So I went back to my parents' home for Christmas. Actually, Sarak and I both went to the high desert in Southern CA. The drive was quick and I was sleepy, yet comforted by the thought that I'd find solace in the 5th wheel, our make-shift bungalow just hidden behind an old brick wall and my sister's car "the roach" in the backyard of my parents' home. A spacious little trailer, yet cold as fuck, and the low ceiling proved to be limiting in certain ways. The first night was coldy cold cold, but the second night a space heater was provided and helped to cut the frigid air to a less harmful temperature. The third night I was having my usual "weird dreams" this time dreaming that I was riding around on a huge bicycle, I mean big like 400 feet tall. I was unstable at all times and felt I would fall, but I kept riding around looking down upon a strange apartment complex of some sort. I did fall eventually, the bike got wobbly and I just closed my eyes and prepared for some sort of massive impact. The strange thing was, I didn't even wake up after I had fallen, the dream just sort of took on a new scene and my injuries were nothing but diaphanous mental fragments. At some point that same night, I woke up and had to pee really badly. I stumbled out of the comfy bed and hit my head on the low ceiling. In a half awake state, I slowly made my way through the musty innards of the 5th wheel to the back where the little plastic toilet sat. I thought the seat was already up so I began peeing and soon realized it was splashing all over the place. The seat was indeed down, and I was making a fucking disgusting mess all over the small toilet. I cut my pee short, and that hurt, but I didn't want to keep making a mess. I stooped down and gently lifted the piss laden lid up. Pee was dripping off of my hand, and as I maneuvered in the tiny space, I continually stepped in my own urine. I was doing all of this, it seemed, automatically, like it was no big deal. When I'd normally be very angry in such situations, I just let it all happen like it was something I did all the time. Eventually, I woke up some more and realized what was happening. I grabbed wads of toilet paper and at about 4:30 am I started cleaning up the pissy mess that I had made. I went back to sleep, don't know if the pee was still all over my feet and hand. Like gasoline, pee has a tendency to dry rather quickly. In the morning I awoke and stumbled into my parents' home, disheveled head and all. Sarak was already in there, so were my parents, my normal sister, and my insane sister. They all looked at me and I grumbled something incoherent. I grabbed some coffee from the kitchen and entered the living room. It was Christmas 2004.